Well, We're Certainly Raising Something
by slytherinslut13
Summary: Desperate times call for desperate measures: The Hogwarts Girls come to Prof Babbling's rescue to help her have the best wedding ever, with some...interesting results. Written with BroadwayStarletQueen!
1. It begins

"Minerva, I honestly don't know what to do," Bathsheda Babbling sighed as she sank into a cushy armchair.

"For what, dear?"

"Well, as you know, Andrew finally popped the question."

"Yes," Minerva smiled fondly as she recalled the week following that particular date, where the younger professor had gone everywhere with a giant smile on her face.

"Well, you see, the problem is, um, well…" Bathsheda trailed off, blushing.

"Yes?" Minerva prodded gently.

"We both want a larger wedding, but we can't… I mean, we have to... our parents can't help us out." Bathsheda stumbled out, blushing.

Minerva understood. "You don't have enough money?"

Bathsheda nodded.

"Nothing wrong with that," Minerva said bracingly. "I'll see what I can do… maybe some sort of fundraiser."

Bathsheda looked up in shock. "You'd do that? For me?"

"Of course. Every girl deserves to walk down the aisle in white and make all the other girls jealous." Minerva offered a small smile. Bathsheda hugged her, sure that this would work out.

Minerva was less sure, when, three days later, she still couldn't think of what on earth to do. It's not like she could put together a car wash, could she? It was nearing Christmas! Besides, only Muggles… Minerva sat up. Muggles. Muggle-borns. Hermione. Of course! Not only was the girl extremely empathetic, but she was smart, too. If anyone could help her, it would be Hermione.

"Miss Granger, please stay after class." Minerva asked the girl on the last class before the winter holidays. Hermione exchanged a glance with Harry, wondering what she had done.

"You aren't in trouble." Minerva explained once Harry had finally left.

"Oh." Hermione tried to not look relieved and failed.

"I have a small problem that I was hoping you could help me with."

"Oh?" This time, the monosyllabic word was tinged with curiosity.

"Yes," Minerva smiled. "I have a friend who… needs help to make ends meet for her wedding. I was thinking some sort of–"

"Fundraiser?" Hermione interrupted, looking thoughtful.

"Yes. A Wizarding one. Do you think you could help out?" Minerva asked, her eyes searching the younger girl's for acceptance.

"Of course. Professor Babbling deserves a grand wedding." Hermione declared before spinning on her heel and walking out. Minerva chuckled to herself. Why hadn't she thought of Hermione in the first place?

"—think of is the ever-so-cliché bake sale!" George paused outside his sister's room. Why was Hermione ranting about baking, especially at the Burrow, of all places?

"Would that even raise enough money? A wedding needs quite a bit…" He heard Ginny say.

"No. We could pair it with something else, I'm sure, but…"

"Excuse me, but why are you two trying to raise money for a wedding? Harry hasn't popped the question, has he?" George smirked at his sister, who glared at him.

"No. McGonagall asked Hermione to raise money for a friend's wedding." Ginny said. "And you're lucky that I can't use magic outside of school, George Weasley."

He smiled carelessly. "Why not do a calendar shoot?"

"Who would buy a calendar of… whatever?" Hermione stared at him.

"Of yourselves. And plenty of people, if you shot the right things." George winked at the two girls, then left, whistling a jaunty tune.

* * *

><p>AN: Slytherinslut13 writes all the odd chapters, while BroadwayStarletQueen writes all the even chapters, save 12, which was written by slytherinslut13. This story has been written in full and will be updated once a week on Saturday.


	2. With an idea

"Remind me again," Ginny hissed into Hermione's ear, "why you had to invite McGonagall to our meeting—in the Room of Requirement?"

Professor Minerva McGonagall was indeed present, sitting on a purple armchair that nearly engulfed her tall and skinny frame. Her austere black robes looked very out of place in the Room of Requirement, which had transformed itself into a cozy sitting room in reds, purples, and pinks—appropriate enough for the eleven teenage girls lounging around its central fireplace. Still, she looked comfortable enough, sipping tea while keeping her ramrod straight posture.

Hermione shrugged and straightened her three quills and parchment on the desk in front of her. " 'When a gathering of ten student or more convenes for a volunteer project, there must be an adult supervisor present'," she quoted from one of Hogwarts' many ancient codes of conduct. "Besides, McGonagall is the one who asked me to organize a fundraiser for Professor Babbling in the first place."

Ginny huffed and blew some bright red hair out of her eyes while Hermione smiled secretly to herself. Ginny didn't know it, but the rule she'd quoted was from a Hogwarts' Code of Conduct in 1897, but it was a good idea to keep Professor McGonagall around.

The truth was, Hermione was terrified of holding this meeting. She wanted to raise money for Professor Babbling's bridal shower and wedding, but the idea Ginny had gotten into her head… Well, it had to be a joke, plain and simple, but it was still smart to keep McGonagall around to squelch any votes in favor of it.

"So," Hermione began, calling the meeting to order, "I'm glad you all came today. As we all know, Professor Bathsheda Babbling is going to be married in a few months, and those of us who take Ancient Runes know what an excellent teacher she is. She deserves to have the fairytale wedding she's dreamed of, but without the proper funds, she'll have to get married somewhere completely plain and ordinary, devoid completely of glamour and romance—"

Lavender Brown shrieked with horror. "She'd have to get married somewhere _boring_, like in an office at the Ministry! How absolutely awful!"

Hermione narrowed her eyes at Lavender for interrupting, but Ginny continued for her. "The point is, it's up to us as her faithful students to raise money as a big surprise wedding present. And that's the reason you're all here—to help us brainstorm ideas for a wedding fundraiser. Who has the first suggestion—and please, no bake sales!"

The other nine girls offered no response, staring at Hermione and Ginny blankly.

"Well," Hermione began, confident that no one had suggested a calendar so far, "I thought for sure that we could make the money we need by learning how to knit and selling scarves and mittens for the winter semester!"

Every woman in the room, including Professor McGonagall, groaned in unison.

"You can't knit a single stitch, Hermione," Cho said pointedly, flipping her glossy black hair over a skinny shoulder.

"Only the house elves like your sewing," Parvati added.

Hermione's face grew red in protest. "I sold four scarves last year!"

"Yeah, to Potter and the Weasel," Pansy sneered, "and they only bought them because they felt sorry for you."

The Room of Requirement erupted into high-pitched bickering, as the Gryffindors jumped to defend Hermione, even though Pansy was right. The girls didn't even notice when a male visitor entered their midst.

"Granger," George Weasley asked in a lazy tone, "why is it that you discounted my calendar idea so quickly?"

The fighting in the room stopped immediately. "George, what are you doing in here?" screeched Ginny. "How did you get in?"

"I walked on by and thought to myself, _I need the place that's loaded to the brim with shag-able females_. Hope you don't mind you're included, Professor."

"Not at all, Weasley."

"Anyway," George continued, "you girls need to understand your marketability, something that my brother and I are experts on. You're all attractive students in the prime of your youth, and most of you are 15 or 16—though, Miss Greengrass, I don't really know why you're here."

The pretty Slytherin fourth-year grinned. "Curiosity."

"In any case, I'm sure you're all familiar with the concept of a sexy calendar—each month has a risqué photo of a good-looking girl. Is anyone here interested?"

The girls nodded eagerly in agreement, while Hermione shook her head vehemently. "George, we are not going to sully Professor Babbling's pure and wholesome wedding by funding it with such a—an—impure thing!"

"I'm game, mate," Katie said, giving George a high five. "As long as it's nothing more revealing than knickers. We don't want to get caught by the Ministry here."

Hermione's face blanched. "P-P-Professor!"

McGonagall shrugged, with a mischievous gleam in her eye. "I can't hear a word you're all saying. I'm just the presiding guardian."

"So it's settled, then," Hannah said, folding her hands neatly in her lap. "We'll shoot a calendar, one girl per month, and sell them. To who?"

"To us hormonal, crazed male students, of course!" George crowed, sidling next to Padma Patil. "Granger may not realize it, but we boys are of the age now where we'd pay good money for a calendar like that. I'd say a well-put together calendar could easily sell for 20 galleons, and say there are about 500 boys here…"

The girls laughed and began to chat about photo poses while Hermione pestered Professor McGonagall. "Professor, please—tell them we can't do this! It's inappropriate, we'll get in trouble with Professor Dumbledore and the Ministry and the Wizengamot!"

"Oh, Miss Granger!" said McGonagall. "Bathsheda is a close friend of mine, and she deserves a happy wedding, with everything she wants. If making a silly little calendar will make her dreams come true, Dumbledore and I can turn a blind eye. As long as it's not flat-out nakedness."

"Oooooh, and I know just who can photograph us!" Luna said, blue eyes wide with triumph. "Colin Creevey, in my year—he's an excellent photographer! He's gone on trips with me in the Forbidden Forest with special rolls of film, trying to catch Nargles and Blibbering Humdingers in a photo!"

"Oh, you took Creevey to the forest, did you?" George laughed, eyebrows waggling. "Did he see anything in there that we might get a glimpse of in the calendar?"

"Oh, I don't think so. Why? Will there be Humdingers in the calendar?"

The girls filed out of the room slowly with George, signing up for different months , while Hermione and Ginny stayed behind to gather their things from the Room of Requirement.

"I won't do it, you know," Hermione warned her, grabbing her quills and throwing them haphazardly into her bag. "It's immoral and Babbling deserves better. I'll knit scarves on my own."

"Oh, Hermione." Ginny squeezed her friend's shoulders and petted down her bushy hair. "You're so afraid of making one wrong step in school, you're not having any fun. Just think—what would Ron say if he saw you in that calendar?"

Hermione didn't try to deny her crush to her closest girl friend. " 'Blimey, Hermione, why on earth would people want to see that much skin on you?' "

"Try, 'Blimey, Hermione, my pants are off at your command. Shag me, or I'll die.' "

Hermione considered this. "Not too much skin?"

"Not at all."

"And 20 galleons a calendar?"

"Babbling will get the wedding of her dreams…"

Hermione sighed. "Fine. Sign me up. But as a matter of interest, what do you think Harry will say about you in the calendar?"

Ginny didn't deny her crush, either. "Why do you think I signed up for July? Happy birthday, Harry!"


	3. And goes to April

"Well, Colin old boy, today is the day that you become a man." George clapped the small boy on his back, nearly sending him onto the floor.

"George! Don't traumatize the poor boy." Ginny scolded him. "We need him."

"So, what am I taking pictures of again?" Colin Creevey asked nervously, fiddling with his camera.

"Girls. Sexy girls, too. Looking good, Lavender," George explained, calling out to Lavender across the room, who was wearing a robe. She shot him a smoldering glance.

"Shall we get at it, then?" Professor McGonagall asked, striding into the room and effectively stopping all teasing and flirting.

"Wait," Colin said, his eyes the size of galleons. "I'm shooting a nude calendar!"

"No, not nude…" Katie Bell said slowly. "Just… mostly nude."

Colin stared at the eleven girls around him, then his eyes found McGonagall. He gulped nervously and started to open his mouth, then sat down.

"Nope. Not doing it. Never. Nope. Nuh-uh." He clamped his eyes shut, as if McGonagall would start stripping then and there.

"I am merely here to make sure everything stays… legal." McGonagall explained. "I will not be participating."

"Oh." Colin's eyes popped back open, and he surveyed the rest of the females. "Well then, I suppose that's okay." Luna smiled at him encouragingly.

"Who's first then?"

"I am!" Cho said eagerly.

"Go change, then." Ginny instructed. "Now, we need a New Year's party. We need a champagne bottle, glitter, streamers, and…"

"The New York Ball. Maybe you can see it out of the window?" Hermione said, considering.

"Well, I was thinking…" Cho said slowly, her head popping out of the changing room, which was really just a huge closet the Room had provided. It had everything from a Victorian dress to some sort of lacy something that had yet to be identified. McGonagall wasn't allowing anyone to even touch it, much less put it on.

"Yes?" Hermione prompted.

"I was thinking of maybe doing the Chinese New Year? There could be the dragon in a loop around me, and I could be wearing a red dress, and a fan to hide my smile." Cho admitted.

"Cho, that sounds amazing!" Lavender and Parvati gushed. In what seemed to be seconds to the rest of the room, Cho was dressed in a slinky red dress and was surrounded by a large heap of paper-mâche.

Ginny poked it with her foot warily.

"Is that supposed to look like that?" Padma came over to investigate it. Hermione shook her head and pointed her wand at the heap. It flew up and formed a Chinese dragon.

"That isn't anything like the Chinese Fireball." Ginny said, squinting at the red paper.

"Of course it doesn't." Hermione sighed again. "Muggles made the original ones."

"Actually, a wizard made it, to scare away the Zingers invading his home." Luna said, speaking for the first time. An uneasy silence filled the room.

"Well, then, Cho, why don't you start posing. Colin, get on it." Hermione said bossily. When she wasn't looking, Astoria rolled her eyes theatrically, causing giggles from the other girls. Cho struck a pose, and Colin raised his camera.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Ginny and, surprisingly, Pansy yelled.

"What?" Cho dropped her arm.

"You look like you're bored to death. It's so obvious you're faking." Pansy said.

"I want you to laugh, woman! This is New Years- you are drunk off your ass, you have no clue where you are, and you are loving that guy across the room!" Ginny exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. "Erm, not that I'm encouraging drinking, of course." Ginny glanced sheepishly at Professor McGonagall, who inclined her head, obviously not believing her.

"All right." Cho said, thinking hard. Suddenly she started to laugh, mirth crinkling up the corners of her eyes as she hid her face with a fan.

"Colin, go." Ginny instructed, and the boy bean clicking away, puffs of smoke coming out of the camera with each click.

Next up was Parvati. Hermione had to admit that she was rather curious about this one. The sheet clutched in her hand said 'Parvati Patil- February- Candy'. Hermione was also rather wary, a reaction only heightened when Parvati came out in a candy-themed… erm, outfit. She wasn't sure if one could call the bits of whatever material it was an actual outfit, but it did seem to match the candy theme. And the heaping pile of candy on the set. To make it short, Parvati's breasts were covered by large, fake cupcakes, and her… lower area looked a bit like a pie.

"A very slim piece of pie," Hermione thought wryly, tilting her head a bit as Parvati sank into the pile. Colin raised his camera, but Parvati frowned for a second. Everyone stared. Then a small jar of chocolate sauce appeared, and Katie grinned.

"Brilliant!" George whispered. Even shy Colin nodded as Parvati dipped a finger into the jar and let it drizzle across her chest. She looked at what was left on her finger and put the finger in her mouth, slowly sucking the chocolate off, her eyes closing appreciation of the taste.

"Hey, idiot, take some pictures before the chocolate's all gone!" George hissed furiously, nudging the small boy next to him. Colin quickly began snapping away again.

"Should I pose now?" Parvati asked a bit later.

"No, that film was fine." Colin said, his voice a little higher than normal.

"All right, Hannah, time to show Neville what he's missing out on," Padma said loudly as the girls giggled. Hannah Abbott poked her head out of the dressing room, her face a fiery red.

"I don't know…" She said miserably.

"Oh, come on, Hannah, you look great." Ginny marched forward and pulled the Hufflepuff from the changing room. There were gasps throughout the room, then the younger girls were around her.

"Oh, my God!" Cho squealed.

"That looks so good!" Panda said, her fingers smoothing a bit of fabric.

"You have _boobs,_" Ginny said, her eyes wide.

"All right, all right, ladies, we haven't got all day," George said loudly. Hannah slowly emerged from the cluster, a pretty blush on her face.

"Keep that blush," Colin instructed. "And hold these at slightly below… um, your… uh, chest area." He was blushing now, too, as he handed Hannah two butterbeer bottles. She was forced to drop her skirt from her sweaty hands to hold them, and the full effect of her outfit took place. She was wearing a simple linen, off white underdress, which went down to her elbows and ankles. It wasn't the dress, though, it was what was on top of it that made her eye-catching. Sure, it looked like an innocent bit of leather. But on her… well, Hermione was sure that if Hannah took a deep breath- not that she could, what with how tight it was- something disastrous would happen. Maybe that was why they made corsets so tight, so that wouldn't happen, she reflected as Hannah got photographed.

She glanced down at the list, and her brains came to a screeching halt.

"Guys!" she cried out as Hannah was stepping out of the fake Leaky Cauldron.

"What?" Pansy asked. "Have you forgotten a book?"

"Ha ha. But no. We don't have anyone for April," Hermione effectively silenced the room.

"We could move everyone up a month," Padma suggested.

"What about December, then?"

"Big Christmas party, duh."

"But I have to be July!" Ginny protested.

"Girls." McGonagall said.

"Well, I have to be December!"

"Girls!"

"And I was really looking forward to being August."

"Girls!"

"And Hermione can't be anything other than September!"

"Ladies, would you please shut up!" McGonagall finally yelled.

"What?" As one, they turned to her.

"Well, you girls clearly have forgotten what you need in a calendar like this one," McGonagall said.

"Which is?" Ginny asked after a moment of silence.

"A cougar. For the boys who prefers older woman."

There was another pause.

"And seeing as I am an Animagus into a cat, you're going to need my help in this ruddy calendar thing." McGonagall winced.

"Wait, let me get this right." Astoria stepped forward. "You're agreeing to be in this calendar as a cougar, and we get to pick the outfit?"

"Well, yes. But the outfit had better not be anything too revealing. I refuse to wear candy on my… well." McGonagall scowled at a crest-fallen Parvati. "I am still a teacher, remember."

The majority of the girls immediately rushed off to the dressing room to find the perfect apparel. Only Hermione stayed behind.

"Thanks, Professor." She said happily. "You know, I really am starting to warm to this idea." With that, she drifted off to join the other girls.

McGonagall winced as she heard Hermione shriek out, "Professor McGonagall is NOT wearing flowers!" a few seconds later.

"No, that's getting vetoed right now." Ginny said.

"How about this?" That was Padma… or maybe Parvati?

"No." Definitely Hermione.

"Yes." Maybe Astoria? McGonagall was intrigued.

"I'll second that," said Lavender. Nevermind, she didn't want to know.

"She'll never wear it." Ginny said warningly.

"Vote on it." Said Luna. When did she get there?

"Yeses." There was silence. "No's." A pause. "Okay, that's that, then."

"Professor, could you come in here?" Ginny called. With a sigh, McGonagall walked into the room.

"So, where is it?" She asked wearily.

They all stepped aside to reveal a… a…

"What is it?"

"It's a cat suit." Lavender said cheerily.

"What." It wasn't even a question.

"It's a cat suit."

"I heard you the first time." McGonagall practically growled.

"It's a full body suit made out of latex… and velvet boots." Ginny said, and uneasy smile on her face. McGonagall studied it a bit more.

"Where are the sleeves?" She finally asked.

"Well, it's a halter top." Astoria explained. "You slip the loop around your neck."

"I'll try it on." McGonagall finally said.

Ten minutes later, the girls were trying to drag McGonagall out of the dressing room, while George and Colin watched in apprehension and amusement.

"Really, girls, this is ridiculous..." McGonagall said. One arm slipped out into the Room, then quickly got retracted.

"Is her arm… bare?" George whispered. Colin nodded. He looked a little green.

"Professor, you look so good!" Ginny coaxed, sounding a little out of breath. McGonagall looked small and brittle, but darn she was strong.

"Besides, I'm sure Dumbledore would approve." Luna's statement made the professor nearly topple over in shock, which allowed the girls to shove her into the room. Colin gave a small yell and turned away.

"Well, Professor, it's certainly a new look." George said. He had no idea his teacher could look so… hot.

"We need to do one thing." Katie said, and without a moment's hesitation, marched over to McGonagall and took all of her hairpins out, letting her hair cascade over her shoulders, back and bum.

"That's some impressive hair." Hannah said, fingering her own shoulder-length locks.

"Yes, well." McGonagall glared at them all one time, then morphed seamlessly into a cat. A scratching post appeared, and she jumped up onto it. The look she gave Colin said that he'd better get ready, and he complied (mostly against his own wishes). She stretched luxuriously, then leaped off, transforming back into a woman half-way through the leap. She stumbled slightly in the stilettos on the landing, but over all… well, Hermione had to whistle slowly as McGonagall finished the production with a cat like saunter towards the camera.

There was a silence in the room as everyone stared at their Professor, then, with a small thump, Colin fainted.


	4. And then to August

"I suppose it is possible to die of happiness," Fred said wonderingly, poking Colin with his shoe.

"Oh, you dolt, he just fainted!" Padma said, lifting the fallen boy and pointing her wand to his head. "_Ennervate!_"

Colin awoke with a start after she uttered the spell. "Oh!" he groaned. "I was hoping this was all just a dream!"

"Frankly, Colin my boy, I don't think any dream your little mind could come up with would compare to this," George said. "Come on, we still have May through December, and we have a schedule to keep. Hop to it!"

Colin summoned all of his Gryffindor courage and grabbed his camera to shoot Lavender Brown, who was currently ready to go to pose for May.

The Room provided a photo backdrop for Lavender by growing a tiny field of wildflowers—namely, lavender—that she leaned down into, wearing a sheer lacy dress hiked far up her legs so that if she moved them one inch more, you could see the lacy underthings she was wearing underneath. Not that you couldn't already pretty much see them through the see-through dress…

Next up was Padma, who emerged for the set full of lotus blossoms in a bright red sari.

"How do I look?"

"You look fantastic!" Lavender squealed while changing, and the other girls laughed a little uneasily. Something was missing.

"Padma," Ginny began slowly, "I'm not sure your outfit is…revealing enough."

"What do you mean?" Padma asked crossly. "My midriff is showing!"

"It looks like any other sari," Parvati tried to explain.

"They're all right, Padma darling," Fred agreed. "You probably have the biggest and roundest knockers here, too, so we need to show them off."

Hermione dutifully went to Padma and tried to tighten the cloth around her sari, but Pansy became frustrated with her slow work and shoved Hermione out of the way, pulling the red cloth harshly against her chest.

"You're hurting me, Pansy!" Padma shrieked.

Colin summoned more of his courage to help the distressed Ravenclaw and actually shoved the terrifying Pansy Parkinson out of the way. Pulling the cloth back an inch at a time, Colin finally pinned the sari back so Padma's breasts were practically falling out of it. With McGonagall's quick shortening spell on the skirt of the sari, Padma was set to take her pictures.

Padma winked at Colin, who was now mystified by her knockers that he'd helped free. "Owl me sometime when you're free, eh, Creevey?"

"Ooooh, Padma, they're practically Australian Dirigible Plums!" Luna cooed. "You know, the Australian plums are five times bigger than their English counterparts…."

McGonagall, for her part, stayed in the catsuit for the duration of filming.

"Professor," Fred said weakly, "don't you feel uncomfortable in that…thing?"

"No, Mr. Weasley, I find it…strangely liberating. Why? Do you feel uncomfortable?"

"Erm…of course not. You still look like a teacher to me. I was just watching out for your comfort level, is all."

"Right. Of course," McGonagall said while stretching out in her cat suit, nearly making her own breasts pull a Padma and pop out of the suit.

Fred stood up abruptly. "I need to go to the loo—NOW."

"All right, boys, my turn!" Ginny said triumphantly, wearing a microscopic red bikini top and short shorts.

"As a matter of interest, why did you choose a swimsuit instead of lingerie?" Hermione asked, perplexed.

"You know Harry even better than I do, Hermione, and we both know that he prefers the natural look. Plus, with a body like this, no lace is required to dress it up!" Ginny twirled for the room to highlight her slender body.

Ginny's photo had her up in a tree in blistering July sun, straddling a tree limb. Winking at the camera, she licked a popsicle slowly and used the other arm to push her breasts forward while she leaned toward the camera.

While Pansy changed into her own bikini for August, Hermione cornered Ginny. "How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Look so…sexy." Hermione blushed. "I know I wasn't into the calendar idea before, but now that we're having so much fun, and we're probably going to raise a lot of money…well, I don't want to be the disappointment photo for September. You weren't nearly as revealing as Parvati, but you still looked smashing. How do you do that?"

Ginny grinned. "It's a gift. But I can teach you. Come on, I'll help you find the perfect outfit—I know one of Ron's favorite fantasies!"

Hermione eep-ed while Pansy posed in a skimpy silver and green bikini in the pool the room had generated, set up in front of a set of a giant mansion.

"You don't look nearly as sexy as you think you do, you know," Astoria snapped.

"Draco Malfoy likes two things: wealth, and being a Slytherin. I happen to know how to appeal to that side," Pansy replied snidely.

"Oh, you think you do," Astoria smirked. "But I think I know Mr. Malfoy a tad more than you do."

* * *

><p>AN: I am so sorry that this is late! I just had a busy weekend... Sorry again! Enjoy!


	5. One Year Ends

"What exactly do you mean by that, exactly?" Pansy retorted, standing up and putting her hands on her hips.

"Let's move on, then!" Ginny arrived in the nick of time, dragging Hermione with her.

"Miss Granger, what exactly have you done to your uniform?" McGonagall's eyebrows snapped together.

"Well, I made the shirt a bit more see through." Ginny started, turning a blushing Hermione around.

"Yes, we can see that." Katie said dryly, looking at the bright red lacy bra that was clearly visible.

"And," Ginny said pointedly. "I tightened the shirt, and shortened the skirt." She made Hermione do a twirl, making the skirt reach almost indecent proportions. George's eyebrows rose higher as he caught a glimpse of her knickers… or lack thereof. A tendril of hair escaped her bun, curling down perfectly.

"We need a classroom setting." Ginny instructed. "Books, a desk, maybe a cauldron." Instantly all she asked for appeared and, with a swish of her wand, they rearranged themselves on the set. Hermione perched herself on top of the desk and opened a book, pretending (or was she?) to read.

"Perfect. How do you feel?" Ginny asked, a huge grin on her face.

"Free. Oh, look, a picture of the—" Hermione cut herself off with a chuckle. She didn't even need to see the others' faces to know that they were rolling their eyes.

"October now!" Hermione said a little later, clearly wanting to un-alter her uniform.

"October… October…" Ginny scanned the list that she had taken from Hermione in the changing room. "Where'd Luna go?" Everyone looked around wildly, not noticing the Room changing.

"That's much better." Luna's dreamy voice came from the set. They looked at it, and, sure enough, Luna was there. And she was standing next to what looked like the Black Lake. In a towel. The lights dimmed until it looked like night, and Luna clapped happily, not noticing the other's gob-smacked expressions.

"Er, Luna?" Fred asked in a strangled voice. "What are you wearing?"

"A towel, silly."

"And…?" Hermione prompted, her eyes ready to squeeze shut at the slightest sign of a mishap.

"A towel." Luna said happily. "It's rather cold, though. Could you start, please, Colin?"

Nobody could have ever thought that Luna had that much appeal, but as she glanced over her shoulder mischievously, they all quickly revised that opinion. Nearing the end of the two minute shoot, Luna accidentally dropped one end of the towel, managing to catch it just in time.

"I think I'd better get clothes on, now." She said airily. "The Nuffhangers are starting to gather." Nobody questioned her as Katie Bell came out, grinning like a loon.

"Quidditch time!" She hopped onto her broom.

"Ah!" Hermione squealed, throwing her hands over her eyes. Katie's Quidditch robes had blown dangerously, giving the poor bookworm a perfect shot to Katie's derrière.

"Does nobody wear underwear anymore?" she yelled to raucous laughter.

Finally, they were at December. Immediately, a tree sprang up next to a couch. There were piles of presents heaped around the base of the large fir. Astoria smirked at Pansy before stripping off her top.

"Astoria!" Hermione yelled.

"I'm wearing a bra." Astoria defended herself, crossing over to the couch. She covered herself with a blanket, much to Hermione's relief.

"And this, Pansy, is what Draco likes." She left her arms and shoulders bare, and picked up a cup of cocoa that was not there a few seconds ago. Sipping from it slowly, she stared into the fire. It was simple… and simply beautiful.


	6. But Something Else Starts

The Great Hall was, as usual, buzzing with its usual morning chatter while students prepared for another day of class and gorged themselves on sausage and Pumpkin Juice. Everyone was excited to leave for the Christmas holiday in a few weeks.

Which, of course, meant that Ron and Harry were clutching their heads in pain.

"Why," moaned Harry, "WHY did we stay up all night playing Exploding Snap?"

"Don't question, just eat," commanded Ron, shoveling eggs into his mouth. "Blimey, Hermione, didn't sleep a wink, did you?"

Hermione, who was looking crisp, clean, and wide awake, rolled her eyes at Ron. "If you'd been more responsible with your time, Ron, you could have studied for your Charms exam instead of staying up all night playing Exploding Snap!"

"Hermione, I take pride in my work ethic. I am a patient man, and I don't push myself too hard. Besides, the Charms exam is after holiday," Ron said.

Suddenly Luna zipped in out of nowhere, sitting down next to Hermione at the Gryffindor table with her arms full to the brim with calendars. "Morning, Hermione, your hair looks very pretty today. Did you use that Zumzanger shampoo I got you for Christmas?"

Hermione ignored the question. "Are those our calendars?"

"What? Ooooooh, yes!" Luna said happily. "Fred and George finished them up and they look marvelous! George says we should sell them now, as presents for the holiday. That way, everyone can start on January together. Fred put a charm on them so you can only look at the month you're currently in, and you can't sneak a peek ahead." Luna looked over to a sleepy Neville. "You'll buy one, won't you, Neville? The girls made them to sell to support Professor Babbling's wedding!"

"Er, sure, Luna," Neville mumbled, fumbling for his wallet. "How much are they?"

"20 galleons."

"20 galleons for a calendar? Luna, I'm not made of gold!"

"Please, Neville? We really want to raise a lot of money so Babbling can have a great wedding! It's for a good cause, and you won't be disappointed!"

Neville reluctantly forked over 20 galleons and forlornly took a calendar from Luna, who gave Hermione a pile to sell and skipped away.

Harry nodded to Hermione's pile. "What are those, anyway?"

"Calendars, like Luna said. You'll be buying them, of course," Hermione said bossily, handing two calendars over to Ron and Harry. "40 galleons, then."

"Hermione, we don't need a calendar, and we're certainly not paying 20 galleons for one! We can buy a gift for Babbling," Harry tried to compromise.

"Harry, please!" Hermione said, desperate. "N-no one else is going to buy one from me, and we really need to sell these!"

Ron tried, in vain, to flip through the calendar, but it was Charmed tightly shut, and only the cover was visible. In pink glittery writing, it said, "Girls of Hogwarts Calendar".

"What kind of calendar is this, anyway?" Ron said while trying to pry it open.

Hermione sighed. "It's a sort of-girl calendar. Where girl students pose for each month in...you know...sexy poses."

Ron choked into his porridge. "What?"

"All of us girls wanted to fundraise for her, and Fred and George thought we'd sell a lot of these calendars. Boys, please, I promise you won't be disappointed! There are really pretty girls in there-Harry, Cho is January!"

Harry turned bright red at the mention of his ex-girlfriend's name. "Is that so?"

"20 galleons, each. And some of the sexiest poses you've ever seen, I swear. Please!"

Harry reluctantly handed over money, to Hermione, and Ron followed suit. Hermione left to continue walking around the Great Hall to sell calendars with the other girls.

"I'm throwing mine away," Harry said to Ron. "What about you?"

"I'm giving mine to Dobby as a present. Anything with the girls in our school involved-it can't be sexy. Especially something with my sister, or with Hermione. I mean, her definition of sexy is very skewed-probably Victor Krum reading two books at once or something."

"Oh, little brother, how wrong you are-I'd have to say Hermione's pose is probably one of the greatest of the bunch!" Fred said, sliding in the seat next to Ron. "You're talking to a principal director and photographer of this calendar, and let me tell you, you have more than 20 galleons' worth on your hands."

"You don't have to advertise, I already bought one, Fred!" Ron grumbled.

"Be happy you did-I got fifteen anonymous orders for calendars today." Fred grinned. "These are going to be huge, wait and see. By the end of the day we'll be sold out, and you'll be glad you have one."


	7. Don't Throw It Out

"Merlin's most saggy right trouser." Neville said, a bit of toothpaste dripping onto his shirt. He didn't even notice.

"What is it, Neville?" Dean asked, coming over to his dorm-mates bed and looking at the calendar that was hanging on the wall. "Oh, oh wow." He moved his head to the side a bit.

"Dean, Neville, what… is that the…" Seamus let out a low whistle and joined the other two boys. And that is how Harry and Ron found them.

"Is that… is that Cho?" Harry asked, gaping.

"Betcha you regret breaking up with her now, huh?" Ron laughed slightly, still goggling at the girl in front of them.

"Betcha you two regret giving those calendars away now, huh?" Neville teased. Harry and Ron stared at each other for a few seconds before diving for their trunks and digging out their-slightly crumpled- calendars. They tried to go past January, but it wouldn't open.

"Gah!" Harry yelled, throwing the calendar on the floor. Seamus noticed him carefully pinning it up above his bed a few hours later.

Exactly one month later, Harry was holding a corner of the calendar eagerly.

"Please be Ginny, please be Ginny, please be Ginny." He whispered to himself.

"What was that, Harry?" Ron called from is bed.

"Just wondering who the next girl was." Harry half-truthed.

"You mean you haven't flipped yet?" Ron had done so an hour earlier.

"No." Harry admitted.

"Just do it. It's so worth it." Ron said, grinning. "And no, I won't tell you." Harry took a deep breath and nearly choked on his own spit when he saw Parvati, chocolate dripping over her chest.

"Breathe, mate." Ron said casually, lazily turning a page in his book.

One month after that, Seamus and Dean entered the dorm room to find Neville curled up in a corner.

"What is it?" they asked, concerned, running through everything that could've happened in their minds. Slytherins, food poisoning, Snape…

"The… the… she's… boobs." Neville whimpered. Both of the boys immediately dashed to the calendar.

"Well, I never thought that she could do anything more draw-dropping than a pack of flamingoes, but those are a pack of something else all together." Seamus finally said, chewing on his lip a bit, trying to avoid laughing.

"Don't talk about them… I mean her…" Neville burrowed his head in his knees, beet red, as Dean rolled around, laughing.

* * *

><p>The REAL chapter seven... oops!<p> 


	8. You'll See Some Lace

Frankly, to no one's surprise, not a single male student was in the Great Hall the morning of April 1st. Every girl was tittering about it, laughing and whispering over goblets of Pumpkin Juice, while Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at what seem to be one great big joke.

"Okay, this had better be the best yet," Draco whined on the leather couch in his dormitory. "That Ravenclaw girl was all right, but I want my money's worth for April."

Crabbe and Goyle similarly clutched at the corners of their calendars, when finally, the spell let them lift the page.

And they were all silent. Draco stared, wide-eyed with horror and attraction.

"Hey, Malfoy-isn't this our Transfigmigation professor?" Crabbe asked, shoving a nearby donut into his mouth.

"As a matter of fact, it is-and it's Transfiguration, you dolt!" Draco replied, transfixed at the curvy feline shape of his teacher. "Is this even legal? She's so-so-"

"Well, if you ask me, she should dress like this more often." Goyle cracked a toothy grin. "She can transfigure for me any time she wants."

All the boys in the Gryffindor dormitory similarly stared at McGonagall's page for about ten minutes before shaking their heads and pulling their eyes from it. Dean Thomas, however, pronounced the photo as the hottest thing he'd ever seen and hung the calendar next to his bed for the duration of the month.

All May long, Ron had a lazy, dazed look about his eyes, and for some reason, he couldn't help but say the word 'lace' in every conversation he had.

"So, Ronald," Hermione asked him during Potions one day, "did you add enough lizard's leg to the brew yet? It's looking a little on the brown side..."

Ron lazily stirred the cauldron's contents. "Yes, Hermione, I did add it. You can shut your lace about the lizard's leg."

'What?"

"I said, you can shut your lace about it. Worse lace scenario, Slughorn gives us an E for this class, and that's a good lace. I mean, there are other laces we have to worry about more now that we're in our lace year."

"Are you guys lacing about lace?" Harry asked over the table, mixing his own potion dreamily.

"Yeah, mate! How did you lace?"

Ginny tapped the utterly confused Hermione on the shoulder as the boys continued to talk about lace, showing her the May photo on the calendar: Lavender Brown in a field of flowers in a bunch of lacy nothings. No one questioned why Hermione looked miserable for the rest of the day.

When the sixth years left for summer holidays, pretty girls awaited their beaus to wish them a happy goodbye before seeing them next year, but they were in for a rude awakening: every boy was already crowded into their Hogwarts Express compartments, waiting for the June page to open up.

"Great Scott! Padma, your-your-her-do you see those?"

"Oh yeah, baby! Spill out! Spill all the way out of that sari!"

"Creevey, you got to see these up close and personal?"

"It's going to be a long summer," Parvati sighed as she got on the train with her sister.


	9. This Method Really Works

Ron awoke to the sound of Harry choking on something... presumably his own spit. He had been doing that a lot lately.

"Harry, what is it?"

"It's Ginny." Harry whimpered, clutching his calender close.

"What? Oh, yeah!" Ron remembered that it was the first. "Wait... my sister is in this thing?" Harry nodded, trying in vain to not look at Ginny's picture. Ron glanced at Harry's calendar rather then try and find his own amongst his Chudley Cannon posters.

"What about it mate?" Ron asked, tilting his head slightly. "I mean, yeah, I'm not too happy about the clothes,"

"Or lack thereof." Harry chocked out.

"Yeah, and I suppose the straddling is a bit over the top, but it's nothing compared to Lavender's." Ron shrugged and tossed the calendar back to Harry.

"But... but... but the Popsicle..." Harry stammered.

"Yeah, what about it?" Ron asked nonchalantly.

"Hey, Ginny!" They heard Bill yell from below their feet.

"What?" Ginny yelled back, her voice belying the picture's sweetness.

"Why are you getting it on with a Popsicle?" Bill yelled. They could hear the amusement in his voice as he did so.

"William Weasley, you are SO lucky mom isn't here!" Ginny screamed, obviously enraged. They heard her storming around the house, trying to find Bill. Ron went white.

"Getting... Popsicle?" He managed finally. Harry nodded solemnly, the image still burned in his mind. It probably wasn't the same image that Ron had, but he didn't have to tell Ron that, now did he? The next time he saw Ginny, he turned bright red and fled the scene. Ginny smiled; it looked like the plan had worked. After all, wasn't that how she first greeted him? She vaguely wondered if he would be sticking his elbow in any butter dishes at lunch the next day.

"Ginny!" She heard someone- thankfully female this time- call for her.

"What?" She called back.

"It's me, Hermione. We've got the totals for the calendar in!" Hermione yelled, a wide smile splitting her face. There was a pause before she heard Ginny scrambling down the stairs. She stopped short in front of Hermione and grinned at her partner-in-crime.

"How much is it?" Ginny asked breathlessly.

"You're not gonna believe it." Hermione began.

"Tell me tell me tell me!" Ginny begged.

"Ten thousand, seven hundred, and eighty galleons!" Hermione jumped up and down with Ginny for a bit before calming down. Mostly.

"How many-" Ginny started.

"Five hundred and thirty-nine." Hermione answered, not needing to hear the entire question.

"Five..." Ginny gaped at the sheet she now clutched.

"I never thought I'd say this, but..." Hermione bit her lip. "Thanks to Fred and George, Professor Babbling has enough for her dream wedding... and then some. Like, a honeymoon. And there'll still be some left over."

"Oh, Hermione," Fred appeared to have been listening in from around the corner.

"We'd never think," George's face popped up next to his twins.

"That you'd ever see,"

"Our brilliance!" They grinned at her identically.

"Yes, well, while I don't quite like the method," Hermione blushed as the twins waggled their eyebrows. "I do enjoy the results."


	10. Especially For the Sisters

"Draco! DRACO!" Pansy's shrill voice could be heard all over Diagon Alley as the new seventh years flocked there for school supply shopping. "Draco, did you see the calendar? Did you see it? DRACO, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

"What is her problem?" Hermione asked as they watched the high-strung Slytherin chase after Malfoy from a booth at Florean Fortescue's.

"Apparently, Draco didn't appreciate Pansy's picture in the calendar," Harry said, licking almond ice cream off a spoon. "Not that I blame him, it left little to be desired."

"It left nothing to be desired," Ron laughed. "I mean, it's Pansy. And speaking from an entirely unbiased standpoint and not that of a Gryffindor man with an avowed hatred for the little snakes, Pansy's too pointy and skinny."

Hermione choked on her cherry. "Sorry?"

Ron put his arms behind his head as he fantasized. "I like a girl with some curve to her, if you know what I mean." He frowned, noticing Hermione's wide-eyed gaping. "Say, Hermione...did you model for the calendar?"

"Oh! Erm, well... When, when you say, model, I- I-"

Ron leaned over suddenly and wiped a smidge of hot fudge off her cheek, blushing furiously until his ears were bright red. "Sorry-you had some-on your cheek-"

Harry rolled his eyes at his two best friends. "I can't wait for school to start. Hey, Ginny, wait up!" He burst out of his seat when he saw Ron's sister. "So, I saw your picture in the calendar..."

On September 1st, all the boys of Hogwarts were anxiously awaiting for their calendars to change, unaware of Hermione's last-ditch attempt to protect herself before school. However, Ginny noticed and was prepared to retaliate with a pillow fight.

"HOW-DARE-YOU-!" she screamed as she crashed into Hermione's bed at the Burrow, pillow smashing.

"Ow-Ginny, what are you doing?"

"You did something to the calendar-it didn't change!" Ginny crossed her arms and glared at her bushy-haired friend.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "It'll change tomorrow-I charmed the calendars just a teensy bit. I didn't want everyone harassing me on the Hogwarts Express. Tomorrow, I promise-you'll see me in all my schoolgirl glory."

And everyone did, with surprising results. After all, she was the most surprising calendar photo to date: every other girl had shown in the past to have their own wild and sexy side, including McGonagall, but Hermione was the one exception to the rule. On her way down to breakfast on the Great Hall, she didn't receive any catcalls but instead wide-eyed stares and even a few rounds of applause. Dumbledore chuckled when she walked into the Great Hall. Seamus was drooling by Transfigurations class when she bent over to grab extra textbooks. Neville and Professor Flitwick mumbled and turned bright red when she was nearby. Dean Thomas bowed in her presence. Snape even tripped over his own feet looking at her walking to her seat, and he followed the action with taking ten points from Gryffindor.

Harry and Ron where nowhere to be found, but Malfoy always seemed to be in sight, watching her out of the corner of his eye with an appreciative smirk.

"You could teach me a thing or two about Potions, couldn't you, Mudblood?" he whispered to her in the hall.

Hermione bit her tongue to keep from lashing out. "Go away, Malfoy."

"I'll cut to the chase. You, me, Room of Requirement. I'd love to have my basilisk slither in to your chamber of secrets."

"Get lost."

Malfoy snapped out of it after this. "Oh, yeah? Well-I can do better!"

Pansy perked up immediately.

Harry and Ron stayed shut in their dormitory all day.

"Make...it...stop..." Harry begged the calendar picture he couldn't take his eyes off, ignoring the painful broomstick in his trousers. "She's my...sister...SISTER...Ron...?"

Ron looked to be a lot worse. He'd drawn the curtains around his bed. For the past few hours, Harry assumed Ron had Spellotaped the calendar to his eyes. At six o'clock, he burst through the curtains and off the bed. "Blast it, I'm taking Hermione out. I've been a git about it long enough."

Harry watched him go in utter shock before cheering with a whoop and following closely behind to ask Ginny out.

* * *

><p>AN: I love how blunt BroadwayStarletQueen is! Also, I decided that I would update two chapters because chapter nine is so short. Lucky you!


	11. And the Slytherins

It was briskly cold for the first day of October. Lucky for the men of the castle, they stayed huddled up inside for quite some time, soaking in the last of the Hermione's splendor before finally turning the page on the bookworm and revealing...

"Luna!" Dean Thomas whistled lowly. Harry raised an eyebrow as Luna's towel began to slip, revealing a pale and slender back, then...

The boys groaned internally as the scene started to replay itself.

"Well, I can honestly say that I never thought that there was more to Luna than the Nargles, but I've never seen a Nargle shaped like that." the other four boys stared at him. "What?"

"Dean, you've never seen a Nargle. They don't exist." Harry said slowly.

"Yeah, well, I bet you ten galleons that they don't look like that." Dean said resolutely, pointing at the calendar. As Luna's towel dropped again, the boys had to agree.

One and a half months later, Katie was fed up with the lack of focus in her practices. She wasn't even the captain! And as if to heighten her ire, other houses were watching the practices. Wood would've never stood for this. Finally, she broke.

"Yes, I am fully clothed under this!" She screamed at the boys, ripping off her robe as proof. Ginny chuckled slightly at her.

Thankfully, the most of the boys seemed to forget about her as soon as December came up.

Instead, they focused their attention on Astoria, who had, among others, managed to do what Pansy failed at; catching Draco Malfoy's attention.

"Hey, Astoria, wanna go to Hogsmead with me?" He sidled up next to her on the couch, a good week before the Hogsmead trip.

"That depends." Astoria answered back, her heart nearly beating out of her chest, although her voice didn't betray her nerves.

"On what?" Draco's voice sounded a little crushed.

"Where you want to take me." Astoria marked her page and set her book down.

"What?" Now he sounded confused. Astoria giggled a bit on the inside at his face... it was so adorably confused.

"Because, I swear to Merlin, if you try and force me into the pink monstrosity that is Madam Puddifoot's, I will hex your hair off." Astoria grinned at him, her eyes sparkling.

"That sounds good." He sounded so relieved. Astoria winked at him and left for her dorm room. When she was fully sure that nobody could hear her, she let out a happy scream and danced around her room, giggling when her roommates came in and stared.

"I'm going on a date with Draco!" She yelled, throwing her hands up in celebration.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry for the short chapter!


	12. Don't Forget the Children

"Rose!" Lily glanced up from her bacon, slightly annoyed that her peaceful breakfast being interrupted.

"Jeez, Lily!" She exclaimed, dropping half a piece on the floor. "Give me warning when you're going to pop up behind me! Look what you made me do!"

Lily gave the bacon a withering glance. "I don't know how you eat that stuff. It's so... so... commercial." She shuddered at the mere thought of 'mainstream'. "Anyway, I have something to show you."

"What is it?" Rose rolled her eyes. The last time Lily had shown her something, it had ended up being some sort of plant that nearly got them suspended. Honestly, the things that girl came up with sometimes.

"Not here." Lily whispered, glancing up at the Head table nervously, her eyes lingering on Headmistress McGonagall.

"Lily, I swear, if what you're showing me is going to end in me getting a Howler from Mum again, I will never let you use me as a mannequin again." Rose threatened, knowing that she was the only one that allowed the slightly scatter-brained girl near her with a thread and needle. Lily relented and pulled a tattered, rolled up _something_ out of her bag.

"Ummm..." Rose hesitated before taking it.

"Open it. It's a calendar." LIly prompted, sensing Rose's hesitation. Slowly, she did as her cousin asked.

"Oh my-" Rose covered her mouth and giggled, horrified. Still not believeing her own eyes, she flipped a few more pages. "Oh my God!" She finally shrieked, hurriedly flipping the calendar away from McGonagall's April shoot. It fell open to July, which Lily barely allowed Rose to see before showing her Septermber.

"Is that Mum?" Rose nodded, giggling at the expression on Rose's face.

"And look at this; it says all proceeds go to the wedding of Bathsheba Babbling." Lily pointed to some small print on the back of the calendar.

"So this is from Mum's sixth year..." Rose breathed.

"Yes. Just. Like. Us." Lily tapped the re-rolled calendar with each word.

"Yeah, so?" Rose asked, bewildered. Lily grinned at her.

"No. No." Rose began to see Lily's plan. "No!"

"Yes." Lily's grin got wider.

"Lily, I am not stripping for some... some gold!" Rose protested weakly. She couldn't believe that her younger cousin was asking her to do this!

"I can't believe I'm stripping." Rose said dully, staring at the costume that Dominique was holding out to her.

"Oh, you're not stripping!" Molly protested.

"Yeah. You're merely upholding the beauty of Ravenclaw." Lucy said, winking.

"And a little something else." Roxanne laughed, almost causing her bosom to bounce out it's strip of cloth.

"What?" Rose was hesitantly pulling on the leotard. It was nude, with an eagle on the front covering all her...parts. Not that they would be showing had the eagle not been there, but it gave the appearance that they would.

"She's talking about your boyfriend's–" Lily started, coming up in her own ensemble.

"Lily!" Rose gasped, scandalized about both Lily's comment and her... clothing. Rose hesitated to call it that, but she wasn't exactly sure what it was.

"Lily, what on earth are you wearing?" Apparently her confusion was shared by the other cousins. They were all there; Dominique, Lily, Rose, Molly, Lucy, and Roxanne were obviously already there, and Victoire was coming in later for a quick May. She would, obviously, be in battle wear to celebrate the downfall of Voldemort.

"It's a special effect." Lily said, obviously proud of her wand-work.

"What's it supposed to be?" Lucy batted at a bit of greenish steam that drifted her way.

"Here, lemme show you!" Lily summoned up a cauldron and filled it with water with a quick 'Aguamenti.' She lit a fire beneath it and stood over it. Steam and Lily's special effect combined to cover her up and create a slightly mystical effect.

"Oh, that's pretty." Molly breathed.

"Yeah, but I can't breath too hardly or else it'll all blow away." As if to make her point, some steam can dangerously close to her cleavage.

"So, we have the room." Roxanne clapped her hands, getting back to business. "But we don't have a photographer."

"Actually." Surprisingly, it was Lucy who spoke up. "I kinda sorta asked if Emmy could take pictures."

"Emmy. As in Neville's daughter. As in the third year." Molly looked at her sister, barely believing it.

Lucy nodded. "She's really good at it!"

"We'll have to take your word for it; we can't exactly bring in a professional, can we?" Lily shrugged. "We just... won't tell Neville."

The other girls groaned. It was practically impossible to keep a secret from the Herbology professor.

But it turned out that Emmy actually was a very good photographer, if not a little shy about being surrounded by such immodesty.

"So? How much did we make?" Lily asked Rose in a hushed voice as they sat in Lily's room that summer. Harry and Ginny were downstairs making dinner, and the two girls didn't want to alert the adults that something slightly illicit was going on.

"We sold over six hundred calendars." Rose whispered, her eyes wide. "I didn't think that word would spread that quickly!"

"What can I say? We're hot!" Lily giggled.

"And we made... let's see... six thousand... five hundred... and seventy galleons!" Rose and Lily laughed loudly, their incredulity seeping through.

"What's going on up here?" They heard Ginny coming up the stairs and quickly shoved their own copy of the calendar and the receipts under Lily's bed. Ginny opened the door just as Lily had pulled out a picture album.

"What's going on?" She asked again, eyeing them suspiciously.

"Oh, just looking at some old pictures, remembering that time when James pranked Al." Lily said airily. Rose crinkled her eyes and started giggling again, pretending to remember said time, but really loving how well Lily lied to her mother.

"Alright." Ginny shook her head. "Well, come down and help set the table for dinner." She left the room, and Lily and Rose exchanged one last humour-filled glance before dashing out.

A moth later, and the two trouble-makers were back at school. And Ginny was cleaning her children's rooms, as they always left them ridiculously messy after the summer holidays.

"What on Earth?" She pulled a calendar out from under Lily's bed. "_Red Light_? What is this?" She opened it and choked on her spit, a habit she had somehow picked up from her husband. "Lily?" For a moment she stared at the swirling spirals that covered everything important- thank goodness!- and then closed it.

"Well, at least she's in shape." Ginny nodded to herself and sent the calendar off to the school the very next day, along with commentary.

* * *

><p>AN: Well, there you go! That's the end... sniff. Makes me a little sad on the inside.


End file.
